I love a good peach. Especially when it’s not quite ripe and my teeth just crunch into it.
Now some people love peaches once they are all juicy and the juice runs down their faces as they bite into the fruit. That’s cool. But that’s just not how I like my peaches.
My friend Laura, she can’t stand the texture of peaches. It turns her stomach. So no matter how gorgeous the peach is, whether firm or juicy, Laura will always turn her nose up at it.
Is that okay?
Well, yes. She is allowed to not like peaches. She is totally fine with not liking peaches, and I am fine with her not liking peaches.
I don’t make her not liking peaches mean anything. It just is, and it’s no big deal. No big drama in my life about her not liking peaches.
It doesn’t make the peach less beautiful or tasty.
Easy peasy right?
Right. Now let’s shift the question to something a bit more uncomfortable.
What about when someone doesn’t like you? Is that okay for someone to not like you? Are you okay when someone doesn’t like you, or do you make it mean a lot of things?
Wow, wait a minute, that’s not the same thing.
Well, isn’t it?
The truth of the matter is this: someone liking or not liking you is irrelevant to who you are.
Wow, wait a minute…
Laura not liking the peach is irrelevant to the peach itself. The peach remains a peach, and it remains delicious to me. Laura not liking the peach is on Laura, not on the peach.
You not liking me is on you, not on me.
The reason you don’t like me is not because of who I am. The reason you don’t like me is because of the thoughts you are choosing about me. Those thoughts bring about the feelings of dislike.
But your thoughts about me don’t make me more or less likeable, or valuable, as a person–just like Laura’s thoughts on the peach don’t make the peach more or less likeable, or valuable, as a peach.
Laura’s thoughts about the peach are a reflection of Laura, not of the peach.
Your thoughts about me are a reflection of you, not me.
Your head spinning yet?
You are who you are and that’s okay.
This being said, I am not in any way excusing sin or immoral behavior.
I am just saying that the person you are is loveable just because you are. Not because of your behavior, or what people think about you.
The peach is loveable because it is.
You are loveable because you are.
And if people don’t love you, it’s not on you, it’s on them….
Want to explore these thoughts a bit more? Join me for a free mini-session where I can help you with your thought life. Or go ahead and sign up for my SIX WEEKS TO A HAPPY MIND course. It’s affordable, and it will literally change your life.