How to get rid of “Victim Mentality” Syndrome

Victims feel defenseless.

Victims are at the mercy of what happens.

We feel and therefore act like a victim as soon as we relinquish our power to people and situation.


Last week, we touched on the fact that facts are neutral until we give it meaning. Only then does the drama start.

What if I told you that nothing on earth can make you feel like a victim?

What if I told you that no facts on earth can make you feel like a victim unless you choose to give it that meaning?


“He made me feel small” is a lie.

Here is the truth: no one can make you feel anything.

All of your feelings are the result of your thoughts.

You never, ever feel small because of what someone did or said; you feel small because of the thought you are having about his word or actions.

The distinction is vital: as long as it is all about his words and actions, you are stuck. But when it becomes about your thought about his word and action, we take our power back.

“I got fired; it’s simply not fair” is a thought that strips you of our power.

It’s a victim-mentality kind of thought.

It makes you feel like you are the victim of a system when, in reality, you are completely in charge of our own lives.

Wow…. really?


You have the privilege of choosing your thoughts.

You could choose: “I now can move on,” or “this job wasn’t good for me,” or “I am glad that God will provide.” Any of these thoughts will produce feelings of empowerment and peace, which will, in turn, drive useful actions.

“Victim Mentality” syndrome is never a situation issue.

“Victim Mentality” syndrome is always a thought issue.

And that is the best news because God has given you the ability to choose our thoughts.

Your choice of thoughts creates everything that you call life.

What are you going to choose in your situation? Let us know in the comments! And make sure to share this with your friends who might need it.


Being intentional about our thought life is the work we are doing at Barbara Isaac Coaching.

Join me for a free mini-session where I can help you with your thought life. Or go ahead and sign up for my SIX WEEKS TO A HAPPY MIND course. It’s affordable, and it will literally change your life.

What do You Make it Mean?

“It’s just a fact: you still owe us $10,000.00,” the lady said politely. “Your insurance just did not come through for you.”

As a result of these words, anger boils inside your belly, and fear rises in your chest. Where on earth are you going to find 10K? When is this nightmare ever going to be done?

Or does anger boil because of what you make the words mean?

“What do you make it mean?

Once you have the answer to that question, you are on your way to freedom!


Your husband, he just acts weird these days. Distant, distracted, lost.

As a result, you run with suspicions:

“He just doesn’t love me anymore.”

“He noticed that I put on two pounds.”

“He thinks that I am boring.”

“I just know he met someone else.”

Or did you run with suspicions because of what you made his “acting weird” mean?

The answer to that question, that’s the beginning of insight for you!

Your car won’t start for the second time this week.

Nobody remembered your birthday.

Your house is messy today.

Your evening with friends wasn’t what you expected it to be.

Your kids laughed at an inside joke.

The dinner you made wasn’t all that great.

Your boss is asking for a meeting with you.

Your co-worker looked at you “funny” today.

Are you upset because of these facts, or because of what you make them mean?


Here is the bottom line:

Facts are truly neutral.

The meaning we attach to them is what gives them an emotional impact on us.


And the great news is this:

We can choose what we make them mean!


Barbara Isaac Coaching is here to help you figure these things out! If you want someone to walk alongside on this journey, sign up for a FREE mini discovery session with me!

Would this post help anyone you know? Please don’t be selfish–share away!